Back to Hogwarts

After Christmas it was time to go back to the rutine, his classes and the life at school. He was excited because he liked being there, but he missed sleeping all morning long in his own bed. He popped on the train and took a seat in an empty compartiment thinking about everything.

During Christmas he hadn't delivered all the presents, so it was time to make his owl work when the arrived the school, he didn't want anybody without his presents. Just keeping on thinking he looked outside the window, wondering when the train should leave.

Fallon was excited to be heading back to school. After the rough start at the beginning of the year she was really looking forward to things now. Everything had been great over break and she had gotten to spend time with the boy she was falling head over heels for. After saying goodbye to her parents and stowing away her trunk she headed onto the train and immediately started looking for Jay. Finally near the midsection of the train she found him in an empty compartment and she knocked against the sliding door before knocking and leaning against the frame.

"Mind if I join you?"

Jay was lost in his thoughts, so lost that he was watching out through the window but really wasn't seing anything, when suddenly a known voice took him back to Earth. When he turned his head and saw Fallon a big bright smile appeared on his face.

"Sure I don't mind" he said happily patting the seat next to him for her to sit down.

When she finally got his attention she smiled across the compartment at him as he looked her way and closing the compartment door behind her she entered slowly. Crossing with a slight skip to her step she sat down beside him and smoothed out her skirt as she sat down. "I was hoping you would say that."

Leaning over she kissed his cheek gently before settling back down on the seat beside him. "I've missed you."

He smiled as she sat down beside him but frowned teasingly at her kiss on his cheek. He looked at her and leaning in he kissed her lips slowly and tenderly, smiling brightly after that.

"I've missed you too" he said and run slightly one of his fingers along her cheek and chin. Suddenly he remembered he still had her presents and frowned slightly again. "Hmmm...I still have your christmas presents with me.." he said sticking his tongue out at her.

She had to resist crawling over to sit on his lap as he kissed her but she sat there like a good girl and smoothed her skirt back out as she pulled back slightly to look up at him. Turning her head towards his touch she couldn't help but smile. Moving closer to him she smacked his leg after he stuck his tongue out at her. "I know I know. Break didn't exactly go as planned but such is life. I have your presents as well they are in my bag."

Leaning over she pulled her bag up onto the seat and dug out three small packages. Smiling she sat them on his lap, "go ahead and open them up."

When she gave him the three presents, Jay's eyes sparkled, but he left them aside for a moment and stood up for taking his bag and her presents from there. He looked at them for a while and first gave her one of them before sitting back down.

"Better you open this one when we reach school, it's a bit awkward" he said at the present he gave her, it was the underwear perfectly packaged. Then he gave her the rest of the presents. When she opened them she would find a silver necklace with a J and a F, a pair of enchanted mirrors, the P.S I love you lotion he had bought and a pack of chocolate covered strawberries. As he gave them to her he took his ones and still with his eyes sparkling he looked at them trying to figure out which one open first.

Sitting back on the seat she pulled her legs up so she could sit cross legged on the seat and she smoothed her skirt back over her legs. Glancing down to the packages he gave her she raised a brow when he said to open it at school but didn't say anything about it. She would take his word on it since he did know what it. Running her fingers over the rest of the packages she wondered which one to open first.

When he opened his she only hoped that he would like them. In one he would find a picture frame with a collage of pictures she had taken of them during there time together. The next would be a gift card for Fortescue's and in the last he would find a box of chocolate frogs and a sweets box from Honeydukes. It wasn't much but she had put her heart into the thought behind each gift.

Starting with the smallest box she smiled brightly when she saw the necklace it was beautiful and she knew that she would wear it every day. Slowly but surely she moved through the gifts, lotion and strawberries next and then finally to the enchanted mirrors. Looking it over she had an air of being slightly confused, "what do these do Jay?"

He was over to start opening his presents when he stared at her face and couldn't help but laughed a bit at her face when she saw tha enchanted mirrors. He smirked before answering.

"If you look at one and call my name your reflection will appear in my mirror and my reflection in yours, so we can communicate every time it's necessary" he explained with a bright smile and put his attention to his presents.

Another bright smile appeared in his face when he saw the Fortescue's gift card, but he laughed a bit at the sweets. He kissed Fallon.

"Thanks dear, I love them" he said sincerly and took the frogs and the sweet box "Do you think these will really reach Hogwarts alive?" he asked teasingly.

Running her fingers over the handle of the mirror she smiled, she had heard of these before but it had been a long time ago and mentioned in passing in a story her grandmother had told her once. "These are amazing Jay thank you so much."

Leaning over she gave him a kiss on the cheek before looking over her presents once more. Picking up the necklace she reached up and put it on, after she let go of the clasp she ran her fingers over where it rested on her chest.

Glancing towards him as he opened his gifts she smiled and kissed him back. "Not a problem I knew that there wasn't much that you wanted and I overspent on some stuff for my family but there wasn't any chance of me not getting you something as well."

Setting her gifts aside she slid closer to him and kissed his cheek again. "No they probably won't last an hour but I know they are your favorite."

He kissed her lips tenderly wrapping one of his arms around her body.

"You didn't need to get me anything darling, but thank you, really, sweets and your company are always the best presents" he said with a gentle smile and opened the chocolate frogs taking one and biting a bit, offering it then to her "Want a bit?" he asked winking

Jay smiled a bit a her explanation and kissed her forehead lovingly eating then one of the chocolate frogs feeling like a kid.

When he turned his face at her she looked like absent, so Jay frowned and took one of her hands sweetly, twisting their fingers.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly looking at her.

Smiling at the kiss she couldn't help but feel guilty, Fallon knew that she should tell him. There was so much that she needed to say but she didn't know if it was worth risking everything to tell him. She knew what could happen if he found out through someone else though.

He could tell something was wrong though, she never was good with hiding her emotions when it mattered. Looking down at where he twisted their fingers together she stared at their hands for a long moment. Even as she decided to speak she still couldn't bring herself to look back up at him.

"Something happened after we saw each other over Christmas break. I met with Jax to give him his Christmas presents and we...he.. well.." Sighing she finally looked up to meet his gaze. "He kissed me and I kissed him back. I hadn't told him we were dating and he finally decided to tell me how much he like me." Looking back down at her hands she sighed. "Remember the boy I told you about that I loved, well I never really stopped loving him."

Jay listened to her with his eyes wide open. He could hear his own heart breaking in thousand pieces...

Slowly he released her hand looking at the floor,feeling the tears in his eyes, but he wouldn't cry, not in front of her. He sighed deeply to keep his tears to himself.

"It's....okay, I guess..." he said as far as he could talk...He sighed again and looked out the window curling up in his seat, hugging his own knees like if he was a little frightened boy in the darkness.

Fallon knew that she had ruined everything as soon as she saw what she had said register in his mind. When he dropped her hand she frown and sat there in silence as he pulled away. All she wished now was that she could take it back. "I'm sorry Jay I really am, he kissed me and before I realized what I was doing I kissed him back." Looking down at her hands she knew how guilty she looked. "I love you too Jay that's the problem. I know its wrong but I do."

Sighing she got up and paced towards the door of the compartment leaving everything where it was. "I know you are upset with me so I'll go."

Her words made a couple of tears slide down his cheeks and he turned his face at her when he felt that she got up.

"No...please...don't leave me alone..." he muttered hiding his face between his knees starting to cry quietly.

He was really upset....his heart was broken for the first time in his life and now he was understanding why most people said that love was a shit. First time he fell in love, first time his heart was broken.... But in the other side he loved her, he loved her too much and wanted to hear everything she had to say, and obviously decide if their relationship would go on, or would break in that moment, in that place.

When he could stop crying a bit he looked again at her and talked again "Reyna, I also saw Reyna on Christmas, she came to my home, I loved her someday, remember? but nothing happened....nothing" he explained crying again.

Standing at the door of the compartment she felt like sinking into the floor and disappearing for good. Hearing his voice break just as she started to slide the door open she turned back to face him as he buried his face against his legs. Frowning she turned back around and stood there for a long moment as he cried.

Finally she took a seat once more on the other seat across from him, the silence hanging between them. Unable to look at him she stared down at her hands as she wrenched them together in her lap. Listening to him speak she continued to keep her gaze down. "I know you loved her. There were times when I could tell it in the way you looked at her. I'm so sorry Jay I really am. This is all my fault."

She didn't know what to do, nothing she said could make it better. Fallon knew though that he would probably want nothing more to do with her.

Jay breathed deeply several times to relax and stop crying. When it more or less was done he cleaned his face looking again at her.

"Yeah, I loved her. I won't say I don't like her anymore because I'd probably be lieying, but surely I don't love her anymore, and even I did....I would never have kissed her being with you..." He said concentrating not to start crying again "I love you, I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. I'm in love with you, I'm in love for the first time and I'm sorry but I think I haven't done anything to deserve this. Why you accepted to go out with me if you still loved Jaxon?" He asked trying to understand her.

Slowly he stood up and sat again next to her taking her hand between his both "I love you, and I don't mind if you kissed him, but I don't know if I can handle your feelings for him" he said pressing a bit her hand

Reaching up she brushed a few tears away from under her eye not wanting him to see her crying. Everything was horrible now because of a stupid thing she had done. Hearing him start to talk again she chanced a glance towards him before shifting her weight on the seat.

"I know you wouldn't cause you aren't that type of person," sighing again she lowered her head once more. "You are the innocent in all of this and I do love you I really do."

Nothing she was trying to say was coming out the way she wanted it to and she knew she was mucking it up even worse. "I wanted to go out with you because I thought there was nothing there. That I could push my feelings for him away until I forgot about them."

Running her fingers over her arm she took a deep breath. When he took a seat beside her and slipped his hands over hers she felt the tears running down her cheek again. "I can understand that Jay, but where do we go from here?"

After her words he grabbed her chin softly with one of his hands and made her meet his gaze. He saw the love in her eyes and also the pain of that moment. He sighed deeply and twisted again his fingers with hers, trying to find the words to answer to her question.

"I don't know, I don't really know.." he said and kissed her forehead sweetly and lovingly "I truly love you and I would go ahead with this, letting this moment into a dark past, I would....well I will fight for you anyways, but it's hard to know that your girlfriend loves another guy..."

When he grasped her chin she resisted the urge to pull away knowing he was only try to see what was going on, but she didn't even know. All she wanted to do was make everything right again. Looking back up at him she couldn't smile but held on to the fact that he hadn't told her to drop off the face of the earth.

"I love you too Jay, and I have for months." The problem was that she had loved Jax for years. It was a battle for the heart and clearly someone had to lose. "I don't know how to stop loving him and I don't want to stop loving you."

Jay sighed, trying to think as a mature adult and not as a little frightened boy in the darkness. He released her smoothly and kept a few seconds lost in this thoughts.

Finally he looked back at her and sighed again. "Okay, can we try one thing? Lets try being together for a moth more. You'll try to find the way to forget Jax, and I will try if I can live knowing your feelings without dying of jealousy. Sounds okay? If it doesn't work...this...will be over" he asked, adding the last difficultly, he didn't want to break up with Fallon, he really loved her.

As Jay sighed and released his hold on her hands she sat back on the seat and smoothed out the edges of her skirt. This was the last way she wanted to start the new term at school but she knew that the knowledge was not something that she could sit on comfortably.

Shifting her weight nervously she folded her hands together in her lap and hearing his sigh she looked back towards him. Nodding seriously she listened as he listed the options out for them. The only thing was she wasn't sure if she could forget Jax. He was one of her best friends, the one she had turned to when things were bad. Granted she had Jay to turn to now but she couldn't just forget about someone. But she would try whatever it took to make things up to Jay.

Biting on the corner of her lip she nodded again, "I will try anything to make it up to you Jay. I want us to work I really do."

He closed his eyes at her words sighing deeply. After that Jay looked at her again and nodded slightly.

"I also do" he muttered and kissed her lips slightly and smoothly being sure that that month wouldn't be the best, but he would try, he needed to succeed, he needed her by his side. Fallon and Gwen were the most important people in his life, losing one of them would be like losing a part of himself, but he needed to be prepeared for whatever the time would come up with.