In a letter from home

Patrick sat on--how he got there was a mystery even to him--the roof of the Astronomy tower. A letter was clutched between his fist, memorized to the last punctuation mark.

Dear Patrick,

They found your mother today, floating in the Thames. She had died from too much alcohol and mixing a few other substances. Apparently, she had been dead for quite some time (though not the 12 years we thought).

Please tell your sister about this letter. I haven't the heart to write it twice.

-Dad.

So they finally found her huh? Great, now at least they could stop pretending that she might come back. A druggie and a drunk. That's who his mother was.

How could he tell Pam that their mother was found dead? Neither one of them had very clear memories of their mother--Dad had always told them that they had gotten in a very long fight and that she would come back soon.

"Bloody brilliant," he muttered as he stared out to the grounds. For once, he was glad no one else was around. He wasn't sure he could handle it.

He could still remember bits of his mother--her voice, her smell, her laughter--but right now all that was clouded out by how she died.

She couldn't even come back for her kids. Pat wondered if she would if she could do it all over. Stay at home, even after her fight with Dad.

The letter grew even more crumpled as he thought and thought even more about it. He leaned back on the roof and sighed. What was he to do?

Gwen was up on the astronamy roof, she always came there to think, to think and throw pebbles off the edge.
Tonight she wasn´t alone.
"Pat? Pat what are you doing up here?" she asked smiling and nearing him.
Then she saw his expression and hers softened.
"Pat are you okay?" she asked sitting next to him.

He looked up and saw Gwen sitting next to him. Was he okay? His mother had been found floating in the Thames and yet the only feeling he could feel is: relief.

"I'm not sure," he said pulling his knees up and resting his arms on them. "I got a letter from home earlier."

Feelings were conflicting inside of him like a roller coaster.

"They found my mum floating in the Thames," he whispered, resting his head on his arms, which were resting on his legs.

He only whispered that last part because he didn't want Gwen to know that his mum was dead.

Gwen put a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. He whispered something else but she didn´t catch it.
"Ah, A letter from home. Do you want to talk about it?" she asked. She remembered her own letters from Home but she was pretty sure they had been different. More about training than actually talking.
She sighed and tossed the first pebble off the roof watching it until it dissappeared.

Patrick didn't know what he wanted at the moment. He wanted to hate his mother with a passion that scared him. But he couldn't. He felt...empty almost. As if all that was important had been sucked out of him and he was just a shell of the boy he used to be.

Would this be like his fear of flying now? Would he never be able to just come out and simply talk about things? He could with Alli, but she was his girlfriend.

"Dad finally figured out how to use the owl system," he said with a wry snort. He didn't even feel sick about it the way he should. Did that make him a bad son? He picked up the fist with the balled up letter. "I really could have waited to know this though."

Gwen frowned. Pat was..different...much different from the happy boy she remembered-
"Hey Pat..you know I´m there for you..." he squeezed his shoulder. He was one of her, few good friends.
She would stick with him no matter what.
"What happened Pat...?"

He smiled when Gwen squeezed his shoulder. Sighing a little, he finally said the words.

"They found my mother floating in the Thames," he said slightly shocked at how devoid of emotion his voice sounded. "Apparently she'd been there a while, though the alcohol and 'other substances' were easily traced in her bloodstream."

Though not as long as she'd been gone, Patrick thought. Did she have another family somewhere? More importantly, why was he telling Gwen this? Oh, right. Cause he didn't give a crud about his mother. He may have when he was four, five, six and seven but the day he turned eight and mummy wasn't there he stopped hoping she'd come back.

"Dad's passed it on to me to tell my sister," he continued.

Gwen bit her lip shocked at how...cold he sounded.
Well asking if he was alright was out of the question because he obviously was not.
The Pat she knew had never sounded like that.
"well then hug Pamela for me when you see her." she said quietly before squeezing his shoulder again.
"from your tone of voice..i take it she left."
He should know what she meant. But truly losing a parent, even if said parent didn't act like one, was still a hard blow.
And she'd be there for Pat. She of all people would probably know best what it was like, after all, her father had died for her, and she'd lost her entire family including her twin in under 48hours.
She could understand and support Pat.
And she would.

Patrick nodded.

"When i was four," he said. "I don't remember much, basically the sound of her and Dad arguing and then the door slamming."

He gave a small chuckle. "I used to wish for only one thing every birthday until I was eight. Never came true."

Gwen closed her eyes and nodded as she hugged him.
"I know what it´s like..kind of...my Father died when I was 11. He was..killed." she said hoping that the fact that someone understood would help.

"I know what it´s like...to wish for something that..can never..come true." she said softly staring out into the night throwing a pebble with a bit more vigour.

"But it gets better. After a while. It gets better..."

Patrick leaned in to the hug, and hugged her back. She was a great friend.

"I'm sorry about your dad," he said, knowing that it really did nothing for the person. He didn't ask what she used to wish for. He felt that it was none of his business.

"I hope so," he said softly. Would the anger ever go away?

Gwen nodded,
"Im not saying the feelings are going to go away...I've had four years and I still have an aversion to muggles for what some have done to me." she said with a hint of bitterness.
"But I swear Pat, it gets better." she squeezed him again and held out her handful of pebbles.
"okay I know this is gonna sound stupid but take A pebble. Now imagine that the pebble is one of your problems. Then throw it as far as you can. It helps and it's fun." she grinned throwing a pebble.

Noting her bitterness towards muggles, Patrick figured it would be a bad time to tell her that both parents were muggles.

Raising an eyebrow, Patrick took one of the offered pebbles. Looking at it, he tried to imagine that it was the confusion he was feeling at that moment.

Bringing his arm back, he chuckled the pebble as far as he could and surprisingly, it went pretty far.

Chuckling a litte, a smile crept on to his face and he said "That was somewhat fun."

"mind, I'm not one of those pureblood maniacs, innocent muggles are fine just..not certaine types." she finished.
"and I told you it was. After a few pebbles it helps too, help yourself." she said chucking another pebble far out.

"What types would qualify?" Patrick asked, taking another pebble and chucking it. The letter had been placed off to the side in order for his other hand to be free, in case of anything that could possibly happen.

"So you come up here to throw pebbles?" he asked. That was an odd thing to do so late at night but meh, what could you do?

Gwen bit her lip in thought.
"can't really say, it's..hard to explain" she said then answering his second question with a chuckle.
"and no, I come here to think, throwing pebbles is a distraction." she smiled.
"being up here just clears my mind. I've had quite a bit to think about lately." she looked at him and suddenly remembered again that he was a twin. She felt her heart twinge. A twin...like her.
"I know this is coming out of nowhere but..say hi to Pamela, watch out for each other. Dark times are coming, you'll need each other." she said thoughtfully wishing that they both never know what it was like to lose a twin.

Nodding as she explained why she was up there, Patrick looked over at her when she told her to say hi to his twin and to watch her back.

"We always do," he said. "Unless Pam starts having a fit of independence this summer, we'll always be close."

Though the dark times Gwen mentioned made him nervous. What if Pam picked the wrong side?

Gwen nodded,
"Pat? Can I tell you something without you overreacting or trying to stop me?" she asked looking back at him.

"I..I'm joining..the dark knights..and the LV.." she whispered. "but right now..i'm leaning. And I'm not leaning towards the LV." she whispered.
Was she doing the right thing?

Patrick had to work hard not to over react like Gwen asked, but it was hard. Who would side with the Dark Knights?

"Well, it's your call," he said. "Pam's been talking about signing up for that Muggle Born group, the Obscura Cabal."

He sighed. "I think it's a bad call, I'm leaning toward the L.V. myself."

Gwen nodded.
"look Pat, if you knew..if you knew my reasons you would understand." she said softly.
"And I guess we'll see each other in meetings..and Pat?"
she looked from the nightsky to his eyes,
"don't judge me, and don't tell anyone." she said simply yet softer.
"and no matter what, I'll always be your friend. Remember that."

"It's safe with me," Patrick promised. He didn't gossip about his friends.

"Pam might judge you though, if she ever found out," he told her. "But I won't breath a word."

He smiled when she told him that she'd always be his friend.

"I'll always be yours," he told her.

Gwen nodded. That was okay she didnt know Pam that well. Too bad. But eh, what can ya do?
She smiled,
"Good, I´ll be needing all the friends I got..." she whispered closing her eyes and coughing a little.

She hugged him again tightly.
Things were going to get very dark, very soon. And they would all need each other.

Hugging her again, Patrick broke the hold and leaned back. Taking a pebble, he chucked it off the roof.

"So do you know what your plans are for after Hogwarts?" he asked. "Like you know what you want to do for a job?"

Just being able to talk to Gwen had helped him more than he thought possible.

Gwen smiled and nodded,
"I used to know...I´m not sure anymore...I used to want to be a HitWitch. Adventure, travel, the thrill...you know..but I just...I think I´m going to get back in the family business." she said throwing a pebble.
"And you?"

"I think I'll be a teacher," Patrick said. "History of Magic or maybe History of Muggles."

He had no idea what the family business was for Gwen, but he didn't want to ask. The family business for his family was accounting for crying out loud.

"Hey I don't think I ever asked," he said. "What's your Quidditch team?"