Ah dance, my old friend

Gwen entered the Gym and knew nobody should be there that early. It wasnt even six am. She pulled her hair back and set Snickers down to keep an eye on her so she wouldnt crash into anything. She flicked her wand and an old song came on *More*-Usher.

As he started singing she bent over stretching and snapped back up to the beat. She moved slower at first but soon she was dancing to the beat twirling and getting low at the right times. The years as a poledancing entertainer had made her incredibly flexible and had made her pretty strong. The beat was pounding and she couldnt hear anything else.

If you really want more, scream it out louder,
if you on the flore, bring out the fire,
And light it up, take it up higher,
Gonna push it to the limit, give it more.

She closed her blind eyes and for a moment she could see the crowd of people (mostly men) and the bright lights in her mind. She had loved that part, but unfortunately no matter how nice the high was, the low was unbearable.

Know y'all bin patiently waiting, I know you need me, I can feel it,
I'm a beast, I'm an animal, I'm that monster in the mirror,
The headliner, finisher, I'm the closer, winner.
That's when under pressure with seconds left I show up.

She twirled faster throwing in highkicks and finishing by getting low and stopping, breathing hardand feeling warm. She summoned her water bottle and leaned against the cool wall while Snickers hissed next to her but she wasnt listening.
She hadnt danced in months, which was much too long.
Then she heard footsteps nearing and froze.
"Hello?" she asked wondering who else could be up so early.

Jay had woken up early. Actually he hadn't slept at all that night. Not either the nights before. His sickness was still present and he feared falling asleep. But now he needed some excersice, some fitting up before the classes, so he headed his steps towards the Gym, hearing some music when he was getting near. Who else could be there? Well he wouldn't bother whoever it was if the other person didn't bother him.

When he entered he heard a perfectly known voice and smiled.
"G-go...good mornin', G" he said with a yawn.

Gwen froze.
"J. I was just leaving. You have the gym to yourself. Sorry, I gotta go." she said gathering her things to leave.
They hadnt spoken since she had left him in the hospital. Alone. She was going to distance herself, but keep up the appearance that everything was fine. So no one asked questions. And so no one could stop her.
It was better that way. She´d have Evan. Until he realized how much better he could do than her... It would hurt but it wold be better for him. She wanted him, she loved him. And if he could love her back she´d be overjoyed. She´d make things work. But he didnt love her, atleast not yet. And chances were high that she would end up a stepping stool to his self confidence.
She just wanted him to be happy, to see himself the way she did.
So to spare others the pain she´d distance herself from them. At the end of the year she´d dissappear for them. Only stay for Evan. They´d miss her in the beginning. But not later. She´d be a fading memory, a ghost in the shadows.
They´d move on...

Jay rose a brow at her reaction. Okay, things weren't like perfect between them at that moment, but he had been worried about her, and he wouldn't let her go so easily. So he approached her holding her arm softly but firmly.
"Are you running away?" he said seriously.
Actually he would say she seemed to be sad, or worried, or something, and eventhough what had happened at the hospital he wanted to know, she was still his sister and he would be there for her anytime "What's wrong with you?" he asked letting his voice sound more soft and trully worried.

Gwen gasped slightly and bit her lip.
"I´m not running. I´m walking. Very quickly." she retorted trying to free herself without hurting him.
"Nothing. I´m fine. Let me go. Or I´ll hurt you." her voice choked and she tried to keep a poker facce.
Let me go or I´ll hurt you...
So true, in so many ways...

Jay released her but his eyebrow rose even more.
"Sounds like you are going to hurt me anyways" he said simply "If you don't plan on killing me you don't need to worry. By the way I still don't know why the hell I've been 3 fucking weeks at the hospital, just if you wanted to know" he said snorting a bit upset with her attitude "Don't worry, I'll let you go, I won't force you to suffer my presence if it had became so undesired lately" he added and started running. It was not good for his desease but he needed it, he needed sport.

Gwen bit her lip.
Three weeks...three weeks...
She wanted so badly to hold him, to tell him it wasnt him it was her.
Its not you, its me...sounds like a breakup line.
"It´s better this way. I swear. I´m sorry J. I love you. You´re better off without me." she hissed softly in parsle tongue so he wouldnt understand. Then she stood in the doorway with her back to him and shivered. She couldn´t move. Why couldnt she move? Goddamnit Move already! Please! Please...
She leaned against the frame of the door and sobbed silently. She couldnt do it. She had to. She had to..It would be better for him.

Jay continued running thinking that G would leave, but he didn't hear her steps walking out the gym, so he glanced at her and automatically stopped running. She was still there, standing at the doorframe.
Slowly he approached her, and when he was nearer he noticed she was sobbing. Without any word he turned her around and hugged her tightly and protectively.

I just let him hug me, I wasnt completely there anyway.
"J..I gotta...tell you..something..." I whispered through my tears escaping his grasp.
He motioned for me to continue silently and I bit my lip.

"I´m-I´m a Huntress. Since after Spain. I took over the family business, so to say, and now I´m not just Gwen anymore." my voice choked. I didnt want to tell him, I was afraid he wouldnt let me go, but if i didnt tell him he´d never ever let me leave.

"Evan- asked me to be his girlfriend. And I said yes. At the end of the year I´m not going to be around. I´m staying with Evan but otherwise..I´m cutting my ties. I have too many enemies. I wont put any of you at an extra risk." I said firmly turning to the door but not leaving.
"You should forget me hon, it´s safer. For you and for Emmy." I smiled slightly, "I hope you two are really really happy, she´s a wonderful girl, and you´re a great guy. I´m sorry for letting you close to me, I´ve only ever hurt you and I´m sorry." I whispered.

Jay listened to her carefully trying to understand waht everything meant, and he couldn't help the jealous lion that growled furiously inside her as she said she was oficially dating Caldwell. But he ignored it, it was more important that she was leaving...and it hurt more that she was staying with Evan but not with him.

"You are staying with such a...." his thoughts finished the statement 'manwhorestupidslutthatwillhurtyou'. But he wouldn't say it out loud, it was not the moment and if it was Gwen's decision, he just wanted her to be happy. "Sorry" he mused for what had threatened to come out his mouth, and he took her hand softly as she turned around. He sighed trying to put in order everything he was going to say.

"First, for me you'll be just Gwen forever. I don't mind you being a huntress, a stripper or whatever. You are my sister and nothing can change that" he started. Jay rubbed the back of his neck nervously for what he was about to say. "If you want me to forget you you should show me the way to. I know you do love Evan, and I've never tried you to not love him, and I won't stick into your relationship with him. But I want you to know that I love you. When I told it to you I was perfectly conscious, you mean for me much more than only my sister. I'm in love with Emmy, I do love her with my heart and soul, but you mean even more to me. I'd give everything for you, I'd give my life to save yours. But I really hope you to be happy, cos that's what the true love's based in, hoping the other one to be happy even it can hurt..."

As he left everything out he released her hand. He didn't want her to leave, he didn't want her to dissapear from his life...but he was well aware that if she planned on leaving, she would, unless it was Evan who asked her to stay.

I growled, huntress pride kicking in,
"He´s wonderful, don´t judge him J. Don´t judge him. Like you said, I used to be a stripper, don´t judge him if you dont judge me. I love him." I paused not wanting to hurt J but I knew that if I broke his heart he´d let me go, he could even hate me...
"J..I love him" On the outside I was alright, inside I was dying...
"If I stay, then you will never be fully with Emmy. I won´t do that to her, she´s sucha sweet girl J, don´t hurt her by loving me." What did he want anyway? By telling me he loved me more than anything.
"What did you think would happen now? That I´d jump into your arms and be with you? That I´d leave Evan? That´s not gonna happen, never gonna happen.." My voice was quiet and full of tears,
"I will never leave Evan, I will never be with you and I will not stay for you." My voice was clear and cool.
Inside I felt like holding him and never letting go..my brother...
I´m so sorry for what I´m about to do... but it´s better for you...

"J..Evan..is my true love...Not you..." I turned away for once glad to not be able to see his heart breaking. I knew it was, and I couldnt bear that I was causing him such agony.
It´ll end..he´ll get over me...he has Emmy, she´ll help him forget...Of course...There´s always..
"It doesnt have to hurt J...I´ll make it stop hurting..." I turned to him pulling a vial out of my pocket and pulling out my wand.
"I´ll help you forget.." my voice was steady and I looked completely calm..almost heartless...a Huntress.
No longer Gwen...just Vere..just Lady Vere...
I raised my wand and murmured the spell and all his memories of me came flowing into the vial,
Goofing around with cookie dough..watching me as I stuck my head out the window into the snow..watching me sleep on his chest...
I stopped when I reached him meeting me.
Now he´d know my name and face, but he wouldnt remember me being his sister or loving me..
He should still be a bit dazed so I quickly sent to vial to his trunk at the very bottom and then wiped my eyes. I couldt bring myself to completely erase yself from his life, and memories came back sometimes, like mine had..
Okay, showtime..
"Jayden? Are you okay? You seem a bit..dizzy.." I said putting an innocent and confused look on my face.

Jay stayed impassive at her words and rose a brow as she asked about what he expected.
"What do you think I espected? I know all that, I'm not expecting you to do anything, I just thought it was important for you to know because you are my sister"
He let out a snort and glanced away, listening to her words.
When he glanced back he saw G with her wand and in less than a second he realized what she was going to do. He felt it, and he was not going to let it happen. When he found strength enough to pull away he remembered of course who G was, that she was his siter and that he loved her. But he didn't remember anything about the conversation they just had, or the two kisses they had shared, anything, only those three details that maybe were the worse to remember.
He was angry with her, because he was aware of what she had done, even he just remembered half it, but he was feeling dizzy.
He couldn't say what hurt more. Or her calling him 'Jayden', or the innocent fake look she had on her face.
Jay looked at her with anger, but even without noticing he fell on his knees. His dizzyness now had nothing to with what had just happened, but with his sickness, thankfully it passed along as fast as it came, so he slowly got up again looking at her again with anger and dissapointment.
"You should know that I'm aware of what you just did. I still remember more than what you want me to do. And if you don't mind, this is mine" he snorted taking the vial from her hand. "I won't make the memories go back to my head if you want so, but you should also know that you've dissapointed me, G, more than what I thought anyone was able to dissapoint someone."
Jay shook his head and passed along her through the gym's door on his way to leave. He didn't feel good, and even he couldn't blame Gwen, or less, hate her. He was...dissapointed, that was the word, really really dissapointed with her.

Shock filled my unseeing eyes as he said he remembered a bit.
OhFuckkhkzdijxciutyut.
She kept a poker face, pretending like she didnt care.
"It´s for your own good Roosevelt." his last name almost burnt her tongue and her tone was harsh.
'Gwen' was gone now, buried deep inside, Vere was the only one there. The change was almost visible. My eyes, though unsseeing, were darker and cold, my face was emotionless and my lips in a neutral line. My posture was upright and straight and my chin was lifted slightly.
Before he left I pulled a dagger and threw it straight at the glass knowing it wouldnt hit him and shattered the vial flicking my wrist and wandlessly summoning the memories holding them as a glowing ball in my palm, my expression as if made of stone.
For a moment, he could see me, as a Huntress, an assasin. See the power I weilded deep inside of me, and it was terrifying.
Beautifuly terrifying and almost unnatural.
After he left I realized just what had happened.
"He´s gone..." I whispered feeling tears run down my cheeks.
I was normal again, normal and feeling horrible.
"I´m a monster..." I whispered closing my eyes and trembling. I filled the memories into another vial i had summoned and put them in my pocket before letting a morose Snickers wrap around my arm as I let him guide me to the Astro tower.

Before he could leave he felt her taking the vial from his hand and turned back to look at her, shaking his head in dissapointment. Her huntress aspect was...impressive, beautiful, and terrifying, but he stayed impassive at all this, at the end she was just Gwen, his bestfriend and sister for everything but blood.

A sigh left his lips as he turned away again and muttered "Fuck off". Then he left. He had Emmy, but he was loosing the rest of the important people he had in his life little by little. First he had broken Ian's heart, now Gwen was kinda breaking his...it just needed to Fallon tell him she didn't want to know anything else about him and the world would be complete. As he waked towards the Gryffindor commons, some snorts left his lips and he just hoped he didn't see anyone in his way there, he just wanted a shower and sleeping. Maybe all this was just a nightmare...